Okay, here goes…
Check out my can opener collection:
Did you notice there are FOUR CAN OPENERS laid out there??? Did you also notice the stupid can was NOT open??? This was after a good 10 or more minutes of messing with each stupid opener. All for nothing, as I ended up cutting the stupid can by crunching the opener into it half way around the can then
angrily carefully bent the can half open.
Now, I was able to get the rotel out of the evil can but by the time I got it open I was
frustrated mad highly negatively stimulated! I was ready to throw something out the window… No crossing that one out! See, here’s the deal. I didn’t just go out one day and buy all these can openers. This wasn’t a review selection. It wasn’t even on purpose.
We’ll go in chronological order…
The red one…. Rubbermaid. Great opener, opened the cans so the lid wouldn’t cut the Monkeys’ fingers off. Except the can could cut through a tree it was so sharp. However, my Monkey is old enough to be careful, so we used it for a long time. 5 years, in fact. Unfortunately, no idea where it came from… Well, it came from hubby’s old roommate, but where roommate got it is a mystery… Not one of those situations where you can ask…
The one in front. Cheap. Camping one. Liked it til the stupid thing stopped cutting AND turning the can!!! Kept it for the bottle opener… And emergency can bending!!!
Silver one to the left. I’ve had two of those… Neither worked for more than 3 months!!! Yep. Great money spent well!
Now, last. Black one. Opened very well. Rather difficult to operate but once you got the stupid thing to work, cans were cut along where the lid was glued and there were NO sharp edges. Perfect… Or so I thought!!!
Now, of all the technology, all the modern day crap… I can’t even get a decent can opener. What is UP with that!!! How the heck do these bird brains expect us to open their stupid, unhealthy cans of processed
crap food with these tools??? One would think the friggin’ canning companies would want good can openers… Without them, we’ll all have to go to fresh and frozen veggies!!! **I know, they are healthier, but you can’t get fresh stewed tomatoes since those government dummies officials decided people can’t sell privately canned goods or whoever thought of that. Convenience foods. HA!!! My flipping foot!!!
After all that time, my rotel dip turned out great and I temporarily forgot about my
fury incident with the can. However, we all know eventually I will have to open one of those dreadful things again and then what??? Am I supposed to get a hammer and a rock??? It would probably work better!?!
Okay, that’s all I’ve got. That’s my rant. Now your turn!
Originally posted 2012-07-13 05:00:00.