Lamenting. Grieving. Living with the pain.  This is what we do: Parents Who Have Lost. Enter: The Louder Song. Lamenting.

If you are grieving or ever have, you either will or have experienced lamenting. If you haven’t gotten there, you may think you never will.  Two years ago, I would have scoffed at someone for telling me that.  Three years ago I’d probably have cussed them out.  Of course, the timeline is different for everyone.

Grieving

I’ve been in mourning for the better part of the last 4 years or so.  I grieve.  For my daughter, my mother, my sister, my brother, my niece and nephew.  I grieve.  Sadness is a familiar ache at the back of every smile.

It’s not a forever thing, constant intolerable deep grief but I hear it never goes away either. I can’t imagine not having it at least a little. There’s no desire here for the pain to forever be constant and unbearable.  Who could blame me for that? Or anyone for that?

Wherever you are in the grieving process,  I can tell you that there is light at the end of the tunnel.  Just keep going.  One foot in front of the other, as they say.  Embrace the moments of happiness, no matter how short or fleeting. It’s a start. Let it be enough in that moment.

Lamenting

The Bible talks a lot about it lamenting quite a bit but I’d never learned what it was so we’ll start with that:

I’ve learned to allow myself to grieve. That it’s acceptable and I don’t have to do it in my shower floor, with the door closed and the light off. I can do it all of the time and it’s acceptable. Thanks to counseling, prayer, the steps of grief, time and who knows what else in the last few years.

The Louder Song

This book came to me at the right time.  Those well past the hard core anger part (or in the middle of it) will completely get that.  Had it come earlier, it may well have been thrown right out of the window, probably through it.

The Louder Song is a perfect book for those who are ready to find some resemblance of life again. Or at least to breathe without feeling like they are under water.  As author Aubrey Sampson put on the cover: “Listening for Hope in the Midst of Lament.”

When you’re in the midst of suffering, you want answers for the unanswerable, resolutions to the unresolvable. You want to tie up pain in a pretty little package and hide it under the bed, taking it out only when you feel strong enough to face it. But grief won’t be contained. Grief disobeys. Grief explodes. In one breath, you may be able to say that God’s got this and all will be well. In the next, you might descend into fatalism. No pretending. Here, you are raw before God, an open wound.

There is a pathway through this suffering. It’s not easy, but God will use it to lead you toward healing. This path is called lament. Lament leads us between the Already and the Not Yet. Lament minds the gap between current hopelessness and coming hope. Lament anticipates new creation but also acknowledges the painful reality of now. Lament recognizes the existence of evil and suffering—without any sugarcoating—while simultaneously declaring that suffering will not have the final say.

–> Synopsis from the back cover. Click Here to Read More on The Louder Song –

How it Helped Me:

Touching and well written, The Louder Song speaks in a language well understood by those who grieve.  Each page, each chapter, brought understanding of my own pain.  The weight of which required pacing and diligence as the healing process is a slow one at best.  It is definitely a good read, whether you seek healing, hope, or simply a little more understanding.

Aubrey Sampson shared with us pain through this book.  Her understanding of the grief that completely changed her life.  It’s truly an admirable and enviable talent.  I, for one, greatly appreciate that she both found hope and a way to share it with the rest of us.

For Grief:

What Not to Say To A Grieving Parent

What You Can Do For Those Who’ve Lost

Coping with the Loss of A Child