Middle School Pre-Teen Friendship Drama: BFF or NRF Giveaway!
Middle School Pre-Teen drama is the worst, or at least it seems life ending! Sometimes it’s difficult to know how to help our children, especially since we can see the whole picture and they can’t see past the moment just yet.
I will go ahead and add that middle school is very likely to be way different than when many of us were there. Kids today seem to be far more in tune with their emotions, and therefore hyper sensitive quire often. Which, I suppose, is understandable given that they are bombarded with far too much information 24 hours a day.
For me, middle school was a lot of transition that was very traumatic. Needless to say, the drama levels were off the charts and I did not navigate the vast amount of traumatic changes very well at all.
I’m thankful for my authentic best friend, who has been my best friend since before middle school but somehow we managed to survive that rocky period of time!
How to Help Your Child Thrive
- Listen. That’s it, just listen. Sometimes they just need to let it all out.
- Resist the urge to make judgements or take sides. Middle school is the absolute worst time for a parent to think one side or another is the right one to take, because they often switch friends on a weekly basis!
- Teach them to be thoughtful and caring for others, all without losing their own self worth.
- Help them learn to see both sides of things through demonstration in your every day lives. The good and the bad, all of the possibilities. Seems like the ‘Karens’ these days are a whole lot of people who can only see one side or take things out of context and run with it.
- Teach proper communication through emotion, ‘I’ statements are always a great thing to teach for great communication!
- Help them learn that not all friendships are real. Friendships based on the wrong things don’t come with the right friends, but we all know that already!
- Teach them to be a good friend so that they will know when they have good friends! We should treat people how we want to be treated and recognize that we don’t have to stick around when people are hateful.
BFF or NRF: A Girl’s Guide to Happy Friendships
Alright, this book is absolutely great! I really wish it would have been around when I was in middle school! The way it’s written and designed is super fun for kids, (think those 90’s teen magazines) and easy to understand. Perfect little book for our kids who are navigating the waters of middle school or crazy friendships!
Written by Jessica Speer, it is full of fun quizzes, colorful illustrations, and stories about pre-teen girls. Bff or NRF (Not Really Friends) is a fabulous interactive guidebook to help teach the ins and outs of youthful friendships. It addresses gossip, bullying and feeling left out while teaching ways to strengthen friendships that are meaningful.
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I have a middle schooler now and it’s hard watching the struggles of who to trust and not trust . She had to watch a friend get hurt by mean girls but told her to just ignore them
That is heart breaking! Kids can be so cruel, I don’t know if it’s worse now or not but we were pretty rough when I was young. Then again, when school was out we couldn’t cause anymore trouble because we weren’t connected all the time. I love that she was there for her friend, that is awesome and a wonderful character!
Ugh my daughter is going through this right now. Every other day she’s fighting with a friend. Her friend is using her name to hang out with yet going with another friend…and parents are calling me and I’m like your kid isn’t here and hasn’t been here. I think my kiddo needs this book!
I have so been there, on her side not yours. haha. It definitely sounds like this book would be perfect for her!
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Hi Kayce..I love to get these books for my teen. I remember having those drama during my teen and it was not always that lovely. Cheers from #OMHGWW and stay safe and healthy
Ugh, the drama! I would so not go back to 6th/7th grade for anything!
i sorta had a book club when i was in jr high me n few girls read the same books at the same times n discussed them it was are u ready for this lol babysitters club. i loved those!!
I LOVED Babysitter’s Club! Me and my bestie so wanted to do that, unfortunately we lived in the middle of nowhere and there weren’t kids, except siblings who we did not get paid to care for. lol
This would be so great for my daughter. I was lucky to have a good, true group of friends at that age, but she has switched schools twice in the last two years and hasn’t had a chance to develop any lasting friendships. This is an important age for determining who you allow into your life, and I think this would help her with it. Adding to the Christmas list, since I probably won’t win it – but I love that now I know about it! Thanks!
Ugh, changing schools is rough at that age! I changed schools 4 times in 6th grade. It was a nightmare, of course the trauma I was going through wasn’t helpful. I hope that it goes better for her! The book would probably help her a lot! If you don’t win, I hope you’ll come back and use my link. 😀 Helps pay for the site. lol
We are currently battling the “friend choices” issue with our 14 yr old granddaughter who lives with us. We have always taught our kids, you are who you hang around. I went to the extreme that I pulled her out of public school 2 years ago, to make sure she was making the right choices. It is so important that we guide them early in friend choices in order to be certain they aren’t caught up in bad choices later on.
Absolutely! I wish you luck my friend. It’s a difficult lesson to learn and certainly one we may regret for the rest of our lives. So sad to say that, but it’s true. I’m sure she is learning a ton from you, whether she wants to admit it or not. Good luck my friend!
Always be kind to others is advice I give my kids. I got along with everyone in middle and high school and had many friends because I was just nice to everyone that I met. That’s how everyone should be.
That’s great advice for sure! I had a lot of friends, not necessarily because I was super nice but because I took up for everyone. I agree though, everyone should be nice.
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All the people I was friends with as a teen, I’m no longer friends with. They just weren’t good people.
Aww, that seems sad. I hope that you have much better friends now!
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I never really had any close friend growing up other than my German Shepherd. It is true that a dog is a man’s best friend.
Your Goodreads link in form doesn’t work. I don’t see link here either & it’s impossible to find it in the search there. If you send it to me, I will follow. Thanks!
https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/86108084-nancy
I’m fixing it now! Thank you for letting me know!
People come & go. Sometimes we outgrow each other. But there’s always a reason to be kind.
Absolutely true and well said! I love your perspective on life and friendship there!
I am still on good terms with most of my adolescent friends, although I don’t see them often. That is because I moved far away. I remember them fondly.
I totally get that, a lot of my childhood friends and I are still friends but life has taken us apart quite a bit…
I was the geek in the corner, nose in a book, and didn’t have adolescent friendships. I was bullied badly for 11 years of schooling. I had zero guidance to offer my children. My son formed his friendships through athletics, and my daughter worked from the age of 16 and make work friendships, including one that lasted over 20 years. Now I’m an Oma, and am fascinated when my grandchildren, 12 and 16, tell me about their friendships. Their mom has far better social skills than I do (I am on the spectrum), so I am glad the kiddos share things with me but get guidance from their sociable mom.
I really hate that for you, I’ve always been super social and made sure the ‘geeks in the corner’ weren’t bullied and knew that they were cool too. It is fascinating though, seeing all relationships. I’m glad that life has worked out a little better for you. And in case you ever forget, being on the spectrum means you have super powers! I know that may sound corny, but it absolutely not meant to be! I truly believe that.
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we are lucky that my tween daughter ad my stepson are best friends since babyhood and can see each other through the hard times!
My best friend turned out to be someone that i never would’ve guessed. She was a couple years younger than me, the complete opposite of me & the little sister of one of my friends. She is probably the best person I’ve ever known, i named my first daughter after her.
My best friend turned out to be someone that i never would’ve guessed. She was a couple years younger than me & the little sister of one of my friends. She is probably the best person I’ve ever known, i named my first daughter after her.